sports: July 2006 Archives

Apropos of nothing for the most part, as my nose has been to the grindstone on a daily basis lately, I wanted to pause and celebrate ESPN Radio, which I listen to with some regularity--mostly as I fall asleep or occasionally in the car.

At some point in the last couple of weeks, someone at ESPN made the decision that all of their employees would be required to pronounce Tour de France in a uniform fashion, and of course, they decided that France rightly rhymes with pants and dance. Now, certain of the talking heads had already taken this bold step, and asserted their God-given right to bastardize Americanize the name of this event, but you have to appreciate the uncharacteristic fortitude required to impose this mispronunciation on an entire Sports Entertainment Corporation.

What has really earned my admiration, however, is their decision to inject the Americanization into a French phrase, retaining the French for 2/3 of it, and daringly Americanizing the final 1/3. No sirree, no "France Tour" or "French Tour" for these forward-thinking leaders. It's Frenglish all the way! I can't help but experience a little vicarious joy de vivre when I think about it. Tour de France-rhymed-with-pants just has a certain je ne know quoi about it that makes me proud to be an American, proud to live in a country where, when the pronunciation of a single vowel crosses the line, we know what to do. Because, you know, who cares if it happens in another country? It's an American Sports Entertainment Corporation providing the gossip "coverage," and in America we rhyme France with pants.

That is all.

One thing I didn't really blog about in the aftermath of the World Cup was Zidane's infamous headbutt. I was stunned when it happened, and didn't really feel like I had anything to add. Even as recently as yesterday, I didn't really understand it. That was, until I watched the trailer for Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter! As you can see from the graphic below, it's pretty clear from whence Zidane learned his moves:

I think that we can all agree, considering how willing the Italians were to bloody up our squad, that Materazzi is most likely a vampire, and so Zidane had little choice but to get Biblical on him.

Case closed. Although I am a little sad to have to put to rest the theory that Z saved Materazzi from a sniper. That was my fave.

And I can only hope that this entry satisfies those of you who were concerned about my recent lack of frivolity, not to mention my tendency to translate said concerns into phrases like "recent lack of frivolity." Anyways. That's all.

Okay. Yes, I believe that, as a team, the Italia is more than a collection of flopping divas and the beneficiaries of bad refereeing. At one point, I did indeed think that Italy got to the semifinals due primarily to the softness of their corner of the draw. Even though these 2 beliefs are not entirely exclusive of one another, I am willing to acknowledge now that the Italia has as good a chance as either of the other teams to win the Cup. Much as this acknowledgement does pain me.

That last entry read like the turning over of a summer leaf, a transition into much more active bloggity blog blogging, yes?

Problem is, I don't really have much these days. I'm working up to a little bit of a rant that's tangential to some other writing I'm doing, but I would need to stop and mess around with it a bit, and I don't really have the time this week. There are days where it feels like every other thing that happens is bloggable, and then there are those where nothing is.

As a sign of how bad things have gotten, I was contemplating, earlier today, a massive post on how utterly wretched all the commercials are lately. Case in point, the dueling dimwittery that are the chicken sandwich commercials for Burger King and McDonalds. Yeah, that's right. It's gotten that. damn. bad.

Ah well. Here's who I was rooting for the past two days: Ukraine, Brazil, Argentina, and England. Can you spot the feature common to them all? Worst of all, I made the mistake of going against gut and picking three of them to advance. Oops.

That is all.